Asleep in my legs, the bottoms of my shoes, the elbows of my coat. The sun is coming in a ripple marks and I’m rolling along the side walks to my bed. I lay two hours with my head under a pillow. I’m a clam, a beetle. I’m all sky lanterns, with the holes cut in the sides to thrust out pictures, images, memories, confessions, poof poof poof. Dragons, lovers, castles, lanterna magica.
Lady and I are out tonight and now its the daytime, everyone looking at the halo
I’m all climb and climb, gasping in a rock cave. Growing up to the light, eating on echo
Sirens are wailing down the roads and it almost sounds like it has rained, according to that shushed commercial of tires negotiating their way over the road grooves, leaves and sympathetic vibrations to echo back at me. These job applications are numbing me. All across the floor there are these long antishadows, the reflections through tree silhouettes of the sunny day thats blocked, its blowing over my shoulder from the left but the wall is behind me, there is nothing in my peripheral vision to validate the idea of sunlight. I want to be walking through sand right now, walking and walking, i want to feel my feet ache and the grains lining my collar and lips, brushing clear my eyelashes, craning one arm in front of my face, watching for signs of a dwelling or shelter, some trees or a fountain, a monster to avoid. Just cars and carpets. Cars and carpets.
There are old photocopied maps spilling out of a box alongside me, a strange spectacle to behold if you aren’t used to it. They are the trappings of an old fixation, from some initial moments of revelation as a boy becoming a man, i’d begun to understand that all common understandings, all reflection, all things temporary are forgotten. frames of reference, symbolism, belief, it all gets corrupted and corroded into these weird tessellated permutations of itself. i hadn’t realized the latent art in this and found it repulsive. so. i wanted to know everything, and thought books would fight off death and time, a sword in one hand and a shield in the other. books, maps, paintings, old sonatas, kingdoms, histories, scientific theories, genetics, tapestries, legends, mythos, constellations, religions.
everybody has been running away from cars and carpets, and yet here it starts